Page Turner Indeed

A couple was lying in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready to go to sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book.

As he was reading, he paused and reached out over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while, then he would stop and resume reading his book.

The wife gradually became aroused with this. Thinking that her husband was seeking some response as encouragement before going any further, she got up and started stripping in front of him.

The husband confused, asked "What are you doing taking all of your clothes off ?"

The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy, I thought it was foreplay to stimulate making love with you tonight. "

The husband said, " No, not at all."

Then the wife asked, "Well what the hell were you doing then?"

The husband replied," I was wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in the book."

Nice Medicine

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her husband's sex drive.

"What about trying Viagra ? " the doctor asks.

"Not a chance " says the woman.

"He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."

"No problem" replies the doctor.

"Drop this into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Try it and then call me in a week to let me know how things."

The woman calls the doctor a week later.

"Oh doctor, it was terrible!"

"What happened ?" ask the doctor.

"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jump straight up with a gleam in his eye and his pants bulging fiercely ! He swept the cups and tablecloth off the table at the same time ripping my clothes off, and then proceeded to make wild,mad,passionate love to me on the tabletop!It was terrible!"

"What was terrible ?" ask the doctor.

"Was the sex not good?"

"Oh, no doctor, the sex was great. In fact, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years. But I'll never be able to show my face in Starbucks again!"

Just Fits

A man goes to a pharmacy to buy a condom. At the counter, the female pharmacist ask him what his size is.

The man is amazed that condoms come in sizes and answers, " I don't know my size. Will you help me ?" The woman ask the man to go at the back of the pharmacy in the sofa. The woman lies on the sofa as the man, confused at the situation, takes off his shorts and inserts his penis in the woman's pussy.

"Size B" the woman answers. " Okay take it out. How many condoms would you like?" The man asks for two and goes home.

Feeling ecstatic over what just happened, he tells the good news to his friend. His friend could not believe so he goes to the pharmacy to try it out himself.

The friend tells the female pharmacist that he does not know what his size is, so she assists him to the back of the pharmacy and ask him to insert his penis in her pussy.

" Size c, okay ? " the woman says. " Now take it out. " The man refuses to take it out, and instead fucks the woman until he comes.

The woman then asks, " Wait,wait, how many are you buying ?"

" I'm not buying one" says the man.

" I just came in for fitting".

WRONG DIAGNOSIS

A doctor and his wife are fighting during breakfast. The doctor gets up angrily and leaves the house in rage,shouting, " And you're not that good in bed either !"

After some time during lunchtime, he calls his wife to say he's sorry for the outburst.

After minutes and minutes of ringing the phone, the wife finally answers. The doctor gets mad again.

" What took you so long to answer the phone?"

The wife answers, " I'm getting a second opinion!"