You owe me $ 20.00

A husband leaves the house to go pick up dinner for he and his wife. Shortly after leaving, the doorbell rings.

It is her husbands best friend and she invites him in. Since she is in her bathrobe the man says to her "you have the nicest breasts". She says "thanks but my husband would be mad if he heard you".

He replies "I would pay you $10 just to see one of them". She thinks for a minute and decides to do it.

He says "Wow that is the most perfect breast I ever saw....I will give you another $10 if you show me both at the same time".

She does it, and he gives her the money. The friend leaves and her husband comes home. She says "your best friend just stopped by". He answers "Great did he leave the $20 he owed me"

HONEYMOON

An 85-year-old man marries a lovely 25-year-old woman. Since her new husband was old she was concerned about his health, so the woman decides that after the wedding she and the old man would have separate bedrooms, lest he overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities the bride prepares herself for bed and hears the expected "knock" on the door. There was the geriatric groom, ready for action. They fuck and all goes well. The groom leaves and the bride prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, the bride hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's the groom, again ready for action. Somewhat surprised, but nonetheless willing, the bride consents to more sex.

When the lovebirds are done, the old groom kisses his bride, bids her goodnight, and leaves.

As she readies to sleep again, the groom comes back again, as fresh as a 25-year-old, hot and passionate. This time the bride is truly amazed. "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover."

The groom, somewhat embarrassed, turns to his bride and says: "You mean I was here already?"